I Made It Through The Darkness.

Once, I would have clung to your every word and wanted nothing more than to be close to you.

Now, times have changed and the pain I once felt as you walked away from me is gone.

The stinging hurt has been replaced by something very different…numbness.

I wish things had gone differently between us, but I’ve since realized that things happen the way they are meant to. We were never going to be forever, and as hard as that was, making peace with that helped me see why I needed to focus on myself.

The pain of your loss felt so heavy that I was overwhelmed with the hurt that permeated my entire being.

Now, you’re a memory that elicits mixed feelings of regret and relief.

So, as I see your words pop up on my phone, I’m startled for a moment, seeing a blast from the past.

A myriad of emotions wash over me as the memories come flooding back, but the pain that once would have made me cry just doesn’t come, I’m where I always needed to be.

I’m done.

I’m over you.

It’s been a hard road and a lot of sleepless nights and crying uncontrollably, but I made it through the darkness to find myself once again.

I’ll never forget what we once had and the love we shared, but that all seems like a lifetime ago…a faded memory of another me.

I’m stronger because of you, and I have to thank you for who you forced me to become: I’m better, wiser and I love myself more than I ever did.

So, I smile wistfully as I see your words…How am I doing? Oh, my dear, I’m doing great. As I click “delete”, I beam with satisfaction. I’m awesome, and that’s all you’ll ever need to know.

You missed your chance with me, and I’m not looking back. My future is too bright to wait around for someone who didn’t understand just how amazing I am.

That’s okay! I know I’m amazing and in the end, that’s what really matters most.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

A Spirit That Won’t Give Up.

Yes, I went down the wrong roads and made all the bad choices, I ended up in places I never should have been, in ways that tore my spirit apart.

Truth be told, I don’t know how I got so down and out, nor how I made it out intact and still whole.

At the end of my rope and hating who I’d become,
I hit rock bottom.

Everyone counted me out and no one gave me a chance, even I didn’t know how to dig myself out of the hole. But you know, that’s the thing about a spirit that won’t give up.

I don’t know how to quit and I’m meant to become more in spite of my rough start.

It was never meant to be the end of my story, I just had to begin a new chapter…one where the Phoenix rises from the ashes.

I pulled myself up, dusted myself off then fought and clawed my way back.

I didn’t ask for help and no one offered me a hand, but that was what I needed to forge my own courage and build my own strength.

My dreams didn’t have an expiration and I wasn’t going to quit on them or myself.

I know I’m a mess sometimes, a bit of a broken soul with glimpses of beauty stashed in between,
but I’m good with that.

I made my way, earned my place and I’m fighting to make my story a success.

I’ve got a lot of love to give and a passionate fire that can’t be quenched.

Sometimes, you realize along the way that you don’t set out to be strong and courageous, but when you’re left holding the pieces of a life gone wrong, those are the only choices you have left.

It’s not that I’ll ever be heroic, strong and amazing like the fabled stories of heroes and lovers, but at least I’ll write my story my way, and that’s what matters most of all.

I don’t have to set the world on fire, just be on fire for my life, the kind of flames that make your heart and soul feel totally alive.

I may be beautifully broken and wonderfully imperfect, but I’m still standing. I’m still strong.

I figured where I needed to go and what it would take to get there, so I made a choice: I didn’t ever go looking for a hero…I decided instead to become the hero of my own story…One small victory at a time, my way.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Rock Bottom.

It was those times in my life when I had hit rock bottom that I discovered meant more than all the days of easy living and happy memories.

The times when I was falling apart, shredded by the very life that I had hoped would make me happy, that was when I truly found myself.

But it’s never really about what we want or where we want to go, but where we end up and the things we learn along the way if we’re paying attention.

Once I stopped burying myself in what was happening and started trying to understand why, that’s when I started to unravel the journey of my life.

I won’t tell you those times weren’t hard, because they felt like I was dying every step of the way.

They hurt worse than anything I’ve ever known, but they were necessary for my growth and evolution.

Instead of sitting back and staring at my emotional wreckage, I picked it up and did what I had never done before.

I started putting it back together and learning.

I reforged the pieces of my world out of the ashes of a broken person, each part fitting together a little better than it used to.

Those times at rock bottom, the days when I thought I couldn’t go on, those became my defining moments in a way all the success never could have.

I learned who I was and the depths of my strength and soul as I climbed out of the darkened of angst and anguish.

No matter how badly I had felt about myself, I started to see the light when I began to truly understand who I was and where I had been.

Now, when someone asks me if I could change anything about where I’ve been or what I’ve been through, all I can do is smile and say no. Because without that struggle, without those failures, I would never have been forced to become the person I’m meant to be.

I’m not there yet, for I have much still to do, see and experience, but I’m on my way, and truthfully, I may never stop evolving and growing, for that is part of my truth and my journey.

The difference is now, when I look back over the footprints I’ve left behind on the sands of life, I don’t cry with regret and sadness.

I smile with pride because I can see what I’ve overcome and know what I’ve been through.

Each footprint has left a mark on my heart and every step has grown my soul, and I can say with courage…”I overcame that.”

http://www.prettymessedu.org

Survived The Flames.

I didn’t choose the path I’ve had to walk, It chose me.

Sometimes, you don’t get a choice, you do what you have to do to keep going.

You fight and struggle for so long, you stop remembering that life can be any other way.

I stopped seeing the beauty of life all around me because I had lost myself in the fight for my survival.

I was no longer living, I was simply existing.
There comes a time when you had to step back and remember who you are.

Fight for your purpose and stop going through the motions.

I was done living day to day and holding my breath waiting for the next disaster.

I’m meant for more than that.

I’ve not only survived the flames, I’ve become the fire.

No more holding on by a thread; instead, I’m attacking my days with intense passion and a fully awakened soul.

Somewhere along the way, I chose to stop being miserable and I decided to choose happiness.

I’m not saying I don’t have hard days and don’t cry in the shower sometimes, but I learned to elevate what I would accept from my life.

Forget trying to dance in the rain and celebrating the storm, give me the sunlight and show me the way to beautiful moments.

I’m still going to worry about all the things I can’t control and I’ll probably still lay awake in bed thinking about everything and everyone.

Being strong doesn’t mean I am carefree and easy going, it means I can handle anything my life throws at me.

I’m not a survivor, I’m a warrior.

I forged my mettle in the fires of struggle and rose stronger out of the ashes of my failures.

I love hard and live passionately, and I won’t ever settle or be demeaned.

My life, my terms, my joy.

I’m letting the rest go while I chase my dreams.

I’m not easy to love but I’m worth it.

I give everything my all and I don’t accept anything less than the best from my people, from myself and from love.

I’m not playing the game, I’m rewriting the rules on who I am and what I want.

But, through it all, at the end of the day, what I want is very simple.

I just want to be happy, strong and soulfully alive…the way I choose, on my terms.

Rain or shine, I’m always going to be at the top,
Shining brightly and smiling.

Eggshells.

I had spent so many years trying to always do and say the right thing.

Be there for everyone and be the one everybody knew they could depend on.

I just tried to always make everyone happy, even if it meant I was unhappy at the same time.

They’d tell me what I was doing wrong or let me know how I could do better…truth is, I was always doing the best I could.

I couldn’t tell you now if it was for approval or acceptance or just because I wanted to see people happy, I really don’t know why I was that way for so many years.

I lifted everyone up so often and so much that it started really dragging me down.

I realized along the way that it’s hard to be a light for others if you don’t feed your own light what you need.

Walking on eggshells around everyone else never left me fulfilled or made me happy…in fact, it made me miserable most of the time.

I can’t tell you what happened or why, but one day, the dam broke and tears stained my face with the misery I was causing myself by pretending…pretending to be happy, to ignore my needs and most of all, not being myself.

I knew that if I didn’t change myself, my life, my people, that I would end up broken, alone and depressed.

I’m not going out like that.

No, that day, I stopped walking on eggshells and started throwing them down all around me, I crushed those eggshells and for the first time in my life, I stopped tiptoeing through them and started stomping them with everything I could muster.

No more fake, no more pretending, no more making everyone else happy instead of myself.
I can make people happy and be happy myself if those are truly my people.

Those eggshells cut me with every step I took, but I couldn’t help but throw my head back, stretch out my arms and laugh.

For the first time as far back as I could remember, I was truly alive. I felt the rain on my face, the wind in my hair and the soothing happiness deeply in my soul.

I had gone so long being numb to what matters to me that I had stopped feeling, and that’s a horrible place to be.

So, I’m going to keep lifting others up and spreading light, because that’s who I am and what makes me happy, but I’m not snuffing out my own candle to light the fire for others anymore.

I can burn brightly for myself and help others too…I know that now.

I’m spreading these wings that I’ve neglected for so long and I’m finding the things that make my soul smile.

Yes, sometimes, there’s pain in feeling deeply, in being fully alive, but there’s also great joy, happiness and exhilaration in the emotions.

Finally, for the first time, I’m not dying inside…I’m alive, I’m free and most of all, I’m truly happy where it matters…in my heart and soul.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Broken Is Beautiful.

I know you thought I was down and out, but I guess you don’t really know me at all.

Yeah, I’m gonna get knocked down, dragged around and fall flat on my face sometimes, but that’s just part of life, and I never stay down.

Those flames that threaten to tear me apart every day don’t destroy me, they strengthen me.

The passion that roars in my blood is stoked by the fires that I’ve survived.

I’m more than a survivor, much more.
I’m a warrior with a heart of gold and courage of a hurricane.

I can’t be denied, stopped or turned away, I’m not wired that way.

No matter what it takes or how hard the climb is, I will always rise again…each time, better, wiser and stronger than before.

So, I know you thought you could destroy me with your actions and break me with your words, but it will be the last time you underestimate me.

I’m not like the others before me.

You can’t contain or tame the wildfire in my spirit or shackle the wild wind in my heart, I’m more than just a woman, I’m unstoppable in every way, every day, I just keep rising.

Maybe you thought you’d have the last laugh and my demise would be the ego boost you sought, but this is my notice to you: I don’t want you or anyone else in my life that will try to tear me apart.

I’ve already been broken more times than you will ever know, and I’m still here, standing defiantly against the world and the people who would see me fail.

I’ve been through the worst and yet, I’m still going stronger than ever.

I make broken look beautiful in a way you’ll never understand, and you don’t have to.

This is my life and my rules, so I’m doing what I do best.

Rising, evolving and getting stronger.

After all, broken girls evolve into the most unstoppable women.

And I didn’t just learn how to dance in the rain..I became the storm.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Starting With Today.

I get that maybe some people don’t always care for my bold opinions and outspoken personality.

It’s okay. I didn’t sign up to impress anyone or ask for the approval of who I am or how I choose to live my life.

Maybe my blunt honesty and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor may offend people too, but that’s just part of my personality…I like to see the brighter side of things, and I often do that with an edgy sense of humor.

I’ll just have to live with the idea that some people don’t want to hear the truth and prefer to surround themselves with fake kindness and sugarcoated nonsense, and that’s their right and I respect that, even if I don’t agree with their outlook.

If that’s what makes me happy and helps them get through their days, then that’s all that matters.

I’m going to keep doing what I do and enjoying my life…honest, blunt and sometimes hilariously outrageous.

That’s just me.

But don’t think for a second I’ll be hanging around the people pretending to be happy doing things for all the wrong reasons in ways that aren’t real.

No thanks.

Give me the genuine, gritty souls that are brave enough to stand in their own light and forge their individual paths.

The beautiful spirits that seek happiness, help others and do the right thing, even if no one is watching.

The people that just love their best and deepest, always leaving people and places better than they found them.

That’s my tribe of hardy and amazing folks that I’m standing beside, not the crowd off chasing ridiculous ideas or terrible reasons and never really being happy.

I’ll pass.

There’s a lot of beauty in this life and so many reasons to be happy, be true to myself and be real, and I’m going to find as much of it as I can.

So, if you want to find me, look often the beaten path, away from the crowds with the people that don’t always fit in.

You’ll always catch me doing the things that make me happy…road trips, just because.

Spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen.
Having a midnight conversation about life’s wonder and depth.

In my world, the only rule is to love my life, appreciate the moments and cherish the journey because one day, we’ll all run out of time.

Might as well make the most of the chances and time we’re given…starting with love, starting with today.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

She Knows Her Worth.

She’s been down all the wrong roads, asked all the wrong people to love her and trusted the wrong partners with her heart.

The price she paid was more than simple heartbreak sometimes, it was more often became the deepest cracks in her soul that she carried with her.

Over time, she learned how to turn the pain into power and let go of the people in her life that tried to devalue her and make her doubt her worth.

You see, that woman with a gentle smile and brave heart has endured more anguish than most of us will ever know, yet, she still keeps going, keeps loving and keeps giving of herself when most would have stopped.

She hasn’t let poor choices and bad people change who she is except to make her stronger, wiser.

She’s no fool but she’s never going to let the pain make her stop loving with every bit of her heart either.

During the darkest times, in her lowest hours, she clawed her way out of the deepest places and fought for the light that she so desperately deserved.

That’s when she forged her iron clad spirit through the flames of struggle and decided to never again let anyone else determine who she was or what she was worth.

That truth, the one she clung to hardest when life went wrong, that’s what brought her through and always fueled her rise from the ashes.

She’s more than just a woman with a heart of gold and a spirit of fire, she’s a warrior determined never to stay down or become bitter about love.

So, no matter the storms that life brought crashing down all around her or the fire that threatened to engulf her life in flames, she always managed to find her way, keep going and stay optimistic, even when things went terribly wrong.

She wasn’t beautiful like you or me, she was gorgeous in the way that the deepest souls shine the brightest because once you got the smallest glimpse of her wondrous depths, you’d never be the same, but then, when you meet a creature like her, why would you ever want to forget a moment in time like that?

With a twinkle in her eye and a smile in her heart, she’d captivate anyone because she knew her worth…always.

And nothing or no one would ever change that.


http://www.prettymessedup.org

One Day At A Time.

I know you’ve had a tough time lately, but you made it through.

You’re still standing, still smiling and still going.
I realize that so many times you didn’t think you’d make it, you’ve felt lost and alone…didn’t know where you’d find your strength.

This is the week where things start to change.

Stop worrying about what you can’t control, what’s already happened and the people that let you down.

The sooner you let go of that pain and angst, the better your life will be, or at least it’s a start.

I’m not going to tell you some fantasy about how magically your life will change and that your wishes will all come true, but I will tell you that you hold the power to start seeing the good in things and people.

To start remembering who you are and what you can do.

To start having hope, dreams and passion in your life again.

It’s so easy to get lost in the day to day of surviving and getting pulled under by life.

But you’re better than that.

You don’t have to have all the answers, know the right path or even see where you’re headed.

You just have to start.

Take a step, make some plans, start to believe in yourself, whatever it takes.

You’ve been saying “what if” and “I wish” for too long.

This is your time and your choice.

Close the chapters to what has been and start anew with fresh feelings, optimism and hope.

But it all comes down to you.

Take charge of your happiness.

No one else will ever be able to make you happy like you can.

Start listening to your heart, let your soul find peace and remember those dreams that you buried so long ago.

Take one step after another, little victories, small changes and a happier heart.

You can do this.

May your week be filled with the beautiful moments of life, the feelings that spark your spirit and the love that will change your life.

This is your time.

Stand up, find yourself and your voice and forge a new direction.

I can’t go there for you, but I can tell you that you’re capable of more and deserve better.

In the end, it’s all up to you what you make of your life.

So, start now and begin to make it amazing, every day, in every way just try to make it a little more beautiful.

You’ll be glad you did.

I’ll see you on the other side, everything you’ve ever wanted has always been waiting on you.

Go find it…one breath, one moment, one day at a time.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Dancing To Her Own Rhythm.

I tried for the longest time to fit in, trying to blend in with everyone else, the thing is, it didn’t take.

No matter how much I followed the crowd and did my best to be like the rest, I was still different.

I’m thankful for that.

I was never meant to be just another copy of everyone else, I am meant for so much more than that.

I’ve got big dreams, a loving heart and a passionately deep soul that yearns for more than just an ordinary life.

Every part of me screams for the things that are off the beaten path: The wild adventures to the unknown, the deep conversations that stir my soul, the belly laughs that make me cry with happiness.

I’m sure I could probably find some of that the normal way, but there’s never been anything normal about me, and there never will be.

I’m the one who stands out, speaks up and isn’t afraid to dance to her own rhythm.

Life’s too short to live unhappy, unfulfilled and empty.

I’m chasing my dreams, fighting for my future and immersing myself in the beautiful moments.

I’ve spent too long doing things I never should have in ways that weren’t me, so I’m changing the music, turning it up and setting fire to my life.

I know I’ll still stumble and fall.

I’ll lose my way and get frustrated.

I’m sure I’ll fail as much as I succeed, but I’ll be doing it my way, by my rules.

I’m not going to ask for permission, approval or acceptance.

I’m making my world what I should have long ago…happier, fun and authentic.

I don’t always know where I’m going, but the beauty of the journey isn’t in the destination.

I’ll lift my face to the sunshine, dance in the rain and live in the moments.

So, when you see me out there living my life to the fullest, just smile and join me.

I may be a little weird, a lot of wild, but I’m always loving, true and real.

In a world full of imitations and trends,
I’ll always be the one thing I love most about myself: Original and genuine.

It’s up to me to make my choices, and I’m choosing happiness, now and for always.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Closing This Chapter.

I gave you everything I had…heart, mind, body and soul.

It still wasn’t good enough.

You made me feel horrible about myself in so many ways every day for reasons that didn’t even matter.

The worst part was that you justified every mean thing you did and all the cruel words that you spewed at me, saying you were just trying to help me get better.

Get better at feeling worse about myself ?

We fought so many times because you had to have the last word, you were always right, or so you thought.

I don’t know when we stopped loving and started fighting for our survival as a couple, but it doesn’t matter anymore.

I’m sure you’d have an answer and would blame it on me if you could, but I’m not asking you, because you’ve pushed me so far that I’m not crying anymore.

I’m just numb now.

Numb to your words, your promises and your apologies.

I have nothing left to give, I’ve spent everything I had trying to save a relationship that I’m not even sure you care about, or at least that you don’t care about as much as you do yourself.

There’s so many things that I’ll never understand about the whys, but I don’t have to.

I’ve run out of words, feelings to try to care about you anymore.

It’s time now to put myself first, something I haven’t done in a long time, that stops now.
Don’t get me wrong, I hope the best for you, sincerely, just not as a part of my life.

I’m hard enough on myself without you adding to the onslaught.

So, as you’re wondering why I’m not calling you back and not fighting with you on text anymore, the reason is very simple and powerful.
I’m done.

No more chances or trying to work things out.
I’m walking away, lifting my head up and trying to find the light again.

I know I’ve got a hard road ahead of me and I’ll probably miss you a lot, but truthfully, I miss me more.

I miss the old me, loving, beautiful and strong who could do anything and was always finding the happiness in her life.

I don’t blame you for anything, I take responsibility for every time I allowed you to treat me badly and all the ways that I didn’t stand up for myself.

That’s also why I’m taking responsibility for my life back and walking away.

I’m owning my choices and my happiness, finally after way too long of allowing myself to feel like a victim, because I’m not.

I’m closing this chapter of my life and starting anew.

I don’t know where I’m going or how I’ll get there,
But as I say goodbye to a past filled with anguish, I’m starting to finally feel the sunlight again.

Now, it’s my time to get my shine back.

It’s my time again…to rise again, to fly high and most of all, to just be happy again.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Broken.

It’s those times at night when I’m lying in bed lost in thought that are the hardest.

My mind has countless thoughts of what has been, what will be and even what could be, and it’s almost overwhelming at times.

I wish I didn’t turn over the endless possibilities and think about the past until it hurt, but that’s just how my mind works.

I’ve been hurt so many times it almost feels normal now and I’ve been broken apart so often, I just want to forget how broken I am.

I try to embrace my flaws, mistakes and pain to become better, but it’s just so hard to overcome the feelings that want so hard to bring me down.

All the emotions, thoughts and pain blends together and I’m stuck so often between wanting to come apart completely and trying to forget the people and hurt that brought me to this place.

I fight to focus on evolving from the lessons of my past, but sometimes, I get stuck and can’t move forward…I’m just mired in the darkness of the pain.

In the silence of the night, when the quiet can be deafening, that’s when it’s the hardest, when I’m alone with my thoughts and I have nothing to keep me from the darkness other than sleep, which can be so fleeting at times.

It’s so hard to forget, to let go and to move on, but I’m trying.

I know that I have to make peace with my pain and confront my demons in order to make my angels sing, and I know that won’t be easy or fast, but I’m determined to rise out of the angst and find my way back to the light.

So, yeah, maybe I’m broken, but I’m not too shattered to start again and put my pieces back together in a better way.

I’m beautiful in the way my broken fragments of my heart and soul come together now, and I’ll keep rising until I’m able to feel the joy again.

Broken doesn’t mean lost, it means starting again, and that’s just what I’m doing.

It may not be tomorrow, next week or next month, but I’ll get there…one way or another.

I’m grabbing my happiness and I’m not letting go.
Broken, beautiful and just doing my best every day…that’s me.

No matter how I get knocked down or stuck again…I got this.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Frogs Into Fairytales.

All my life, I thought I needed a love interest, relationship or partner to be happy, I did whatever I could to avoid being single.

That meant I took a lot of bad turns, made a lot of wrong choices and tried to love a lot of wrong people.

I couldn’t understand what was wrong. Every time, I ended up with hurt feelings and a broken heart.

Truth is, I’d never really tried to be on my own, the thought alone scared me to death.

I was so accustomed to being in a relationship because that’s how I identified myself, I thought that’s what I needed to be happy.

Until one day, after the umpteenth failed love, crying endless tears and being tired of the same broken ending to my love story, I made a choice.

I won’t say that I wasn’t scared, worried and nervous about trying to actually figure out who I was, because I was all of those things, and it was terrifying being alone trying to figure it all out.

I didn’t know where to start,where to go or what to do, I just knew I couldn’t keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.

All the decisions to try to turn frogs into fairytales had left my heart in pieces and my soul empty.

No more.

Forget chasing love and trying to get someone to love me, that never worked out for me the way I wanted.

I didn’t even know myself any more, because I could always submerge myself into my relationship and never have to face those truths.
I had to take back my magic, find my voice and rediscover the person I had lost along the way.

I was at that place where I felt like I was staring over the edge of the abyss without knowing what lie before me.

But I pushed forward in spite of my insecurities and fears, and I found with each baby step, I felt a little freer and a bit lighter.

The more I found out about myself, the more I started to love.

Focusing on myself led me down a road that was strangely familiar and weirdly exciting as I began to uncover parts that had laid dormant for a long time…actually, forever.

Every day was still scary, but the more I kept going, the less frightening each choice, decision and day became, and with each step, I became stronger, wiser and more secure with myself.

Sure, there’s still things I want to change about myself when I look in the mirror and there will always be parts of myself I want to improve.

The difference is, now I’m doing for me, living for the things that make my heart smile.
Because of me, for me, by me.

Maybe I don’t have it figured out, but that’s the beauty of it all…I don’t have to.

One step at a time, day by day.

I got this.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Warrior Spirit.

She made the choice a long time ago to never surrender to the problems and challenges that tried to bring her down.

She never set out to become strong, tough or brave, her story never gave her another option.

She’s always done whatever it takes to make it where she’s trying to go, but she’s never sold her soul or sacrificed her values to reach her goals.

She’s not perfect, and she gave up trying to be a long time ago.

She’s made her fair shares of mistakes, wrong turns and bad love choices, but that never dissuaded her from pressing forward.

She never asked “why me,” she just found a way through the struggles every time.

She’s more than just a simple woman, though you may not know that at first glance.

She’s a warrior spirit, with the soul of a dreamer and the heart of a lover…more than anything, she’s been searching for peace and love since the very beginning.

She’s always been that person that loves with all her heart…herself, her people, her life, and perhaps, one day, her “forever person,” when he shows up.

She’s never questioned the timing of life, she’s learned to do the hardest thing of all: Trust.
Herself, her heart, life’s timing…all the things that she should have stopped believing in so long ago, but never did.

She’s had her heart broken into a million pieces and she’s always been the one to pick up the pieces and put herself back together again..

Each time better and stronger than before.

She’s a complex person with simple needs and she’s never abandoned her desire to be happy in the things that matter.

She’s more than a survivor, though, some days, she felt like that was all she was doing.

Most importantly, she’s always kept her fire burning and kept her light shining brightly in her eye, always believing in herself throughout it all.

Maybe one day she’ll rest and take some time for herself, but that time isn’t now.

She still has much to do and an entire future full of possibilities, falling in love with being alive every day.

Strong, beautiful and free.

One day, she’ll be in love with herself and her life, finally at peace and content, perhaps, even more…and she can’t wait.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Doing It My Way.

I looked in the mirror and exhaled deeply.

It had taken me a long time to get to this point…blood, sweat and tears?

No, so much more than that.

I’d been beaten down, dragged through the mud and thrown into the fire, and that was just the start.

I made the classic mistakes of giving my heart to all the wrong people in all the wrong ways and every one of those broken roads cut me a little deeper and taught me a little more about who I was, where I’d been and what I wanted.

Sure, I hated having my heart broken time and again, but I would never change a thing about all the wrong turns I’d made.

They led me to exactly where I was meant to be…standing here, in front of the mirror, beginning to recognize a person I had lost a long time ago…me!

I thought by forging an identity in the people I loved and losing myself in them, I’d be happier and the love would be stronger, and it never was.

That’s not the way love works, I learned.

Real and lasting love doesn’t ask a person to change into something other than who they are, and I’ve finally started making my way back to myself, where I never should have left to begin with.

It’s been a long journey full of bumps and bruises, falls and failures, but I’m finally starting to recognize the person I’ve been trying to find and love for way too long.

Smiling, I pulled my hair back and swiveled my hips into a fun pose.

“Girl, you’ve been gone way too long! Let’s never do that again,” I laughed loudly and beamed.

Sometimes, you gotta go through the hard times, try to love the wrong people and learn the difficult lessons to find your way.

It’s been hard, it’s been painful, it’s been full of sadness, but it’s all been worth it.

I’m on my way home to better, stronger, happier version of myself, and it’s a great feeling.

I’m turning my pain into power, my struggles into my strength and most of all, my lessons into reasons, that deep down, I needed to turn my setback into my comeback…wiser, stronger and with a deeper love of myself than I’ve ever known.

I took one last look in the mirror, grinning broadly.

“I sure did miss you, girl. Let’s go remind them world why you’re amazing.”

And with a wink and a laugh, I kept moving forward on my journey…this time, I’m doing it my way.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

It All Starts With You.

It doesn’t matter what they said about you, the names they called you or their judgement of you.

They never knew the real you, and that’s their loss for not taking the time to try.

I know the words hurt and the memory of the pain still sears your heart, but you have to realize that the only opinion about you that matters is yours.

The people pointing fingers, putting you down and trying to hurt you are just trying to ignore their own problems and shortcomings.

Let them go.

The love stories that didn’t work out were never meant for you, because someone and something better is waiting for you.

I’m not saying it’ll be easy or that you’ll forget it all quickly, but the moment you start confronting the pain and banishing it to a place where it can’t hurt you is the first step to healing…and freedom.

How do I know?

I’ve traveled that long road of learning to love myself and I’m waiting for you along the way, hand outstretched.

You’re not alone and you never will be, again.
It’s easy to believe the negativity of others and forget to listen to your own soul whispering to you.

You’ve let the world stamp out your magic and take away your voice.

Stop and take a deep breath.

Feel the wind blowing, hear the birds chirping and see the beauty of the world all around you.

It’s time for you to start remembering who you are and the dreams you had, and stop listening to the world and who it thinks you should be.

They don’t know where you’ve been and the fires you’ve had to walk through, so they don’t get to tell you anything about you.

Only you have that right.

So, tell yourself that you’re a fighter because you’re strong.

Tell yourself you’re beautiful because your soul is deep and your heart is amazing.

Most of all, tell yourself every day that you’re worthy of love, you’re more than enough and that you deserve the best.

Day by day and little by little, find a way to start believing in yourself, your dreams and that you can do anything.

Maybe it won’t happen overnight, but you’ll get there when you’re meant to.

Promise yourself one thing, starting today:
You’re never going to give up or stop believing, and with hope in your heart and fire in your spirit, you’ll move mountains you never even thought you could climb.

It all starts with you.

And now, more than ever, you got this!

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Give Me Your Mondays.

I know that I’m always going to have days that feel like a Monday.

Where I don’t have the energy, the patience or the strength to tackle all the nonsense of life.

When all the ugly moments seem to happen all at once, too much to do, too many rude people and too much bad news.

Those days are coming, they always do.

But it doesn’t mean I have to hang onto the bad stuff and linger in the mood.

No, I’m choosing to do the best I can with what comes at me and then moving on.

It’s hard when I get knocked to my knees and I’m gasping to come up for air to see past the storm, but I know that the light is always waiting on the other side.

I’m going to take a deep breath, gather myself and fight through the darkness as best I can.

I know it won’t be easy and I’ll probably keep getting knocked down, but that doesn’t mean I have to stay down.

This is my life and while I can’t control what happens to me, I can control how I react to bad people, things and situations.

So, life, give me your Mondays.

Throw everything bad at me that you want.

I may struggle, I may fall, but I’ll still find a way to get up, muster my courage and keep going.

I’m done being just a survivor, struggling and unhappy.

I’m taking back my life, making the most of the beautiful moments that surround me, and at the same time refusing to wallow in the bad stuff that comes at me.

It’s a new day and with it, new hope.

Maybe every day isn’t beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find something beautiful in each day.

This is my life and I choose to rise above the ugly and see the joy.

Rain or shine, l’ll find my way, just the way I was always meant to.

My life, my choice.

It’s all up to me…and I’m choosing happiness.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Epiphany.

I woke up, hoping to feel refreshed after a night spent tossing and turning.

It was one of those long nights when I couldn’t turn off my thoughts and my memories wouldn’t give me a moment’s peace.

So, as I opened my eyes, I mustered every bit of optimism about the start of a beautiful day, until my heart whispered the lingering thoughts I hadn’t wanted to keep remembering.

You. Us.

The pain of our split was all too real and felt like just yesterday, though it was actually a couple weeks.

I knew that no matter what I told myself or what I wanted, my heart wasn’t ready to let you go..

Even though my head kept telling me to move on.
That’s one of the hardest places to be…when your head is at war with your heart.

Deep down, I knew what was best for me and what I needed to do, but there was no convincing my heart of that reality.

My emotions weren’t there yet, so I was stuck, all the time, between trying to forget and a heart that wouldn’t let me.

It was a constant montage at night, playing a never ending stream of us…good, bad and ugly, but always us.

I did the best I could and just fought for a few hours sleep, if that, in between the nonstop thinking.

Though, as I sipped my coffee that morning, I noticed that everything hurt just a little less and the sunlight was a little bit bright.

Maybe, I thought, is how it happens.

The more time passes, the less you feel, the less you hurt, the less you remember…one day, it’s all just a distant memory.

I couldn’t help but smile at the possibility of relief.

I knew I’d have to make peace with the past before I could ever really move on, but suddenly, I felt a twinge that I didn’t have before.

Maybe it wasn’t a bold epiphany and maybe it didn’t make anything better instantly, but now, I finally realized that I could do this.

Things would get better, the pain would begin to subside- I’d start to find my way again.

That, for now, would have to be enough.

After all, now, I had something I didn’t have last night and it changed everything..

Something that had been eluding me for far too long: Hope.

And I’ll just keep building on that, all the way to my newfound happiness.

It might take a while, but I knew now I could make my way away from the pain of us.

Step by step and day by day, I’d start to love myself again, and finally, be able to let you go.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Walking Thru Fires Of Life.

I know you feel a little lost lately.

Maybe you don’t know how to break out of the mood that’s weighing you down.

Perhaps you’re having a hard time finding your joy.

You want more, need more, but you don’t know where to start and you apologize too much for wanting to feel alive.

I realize you’ve had to do whatever it took to get you where you are today, but now, perhaps it’s time for you to remember the hopes and dreams you put on hold as life took charge.

The people around you may not see what you do and they’re not always going to understand your dreams and desires to become more and grow.

That’s okay, not everyone has to. Those that truly love you will stand beside you and encourage you in whatever you choose to pursue, and that’s all you need, that, and believing in yourself.

I know you’ve been beaten down, tired and lost a little of yourself along the way, well, it’s time for you to rediscover and redefine the person you’re meant to be.

No more excuses.

Stop the apologies.

Get rid of the procrastination.

You’re a beautiful soul capable of so much love, joy and happiness if you just begin to embrace all of you in a way that you haven’t for such a long time.

You’ve forgotten how to be happy.

You don’t know the way back to yourself.

But that little spark in you has been there all along, just waiting for you to awaken.

Step out in the light, promise yourself to turn the page and rekindle that fire that once burned so brightly inside of you, transform that spark into a roaring wildfire and let it fill your heart and excite your soul.

This is your story and it’s time that you start the chapter where you fall in love with being alive, every day.

You’ve walked through the fires of life.

Now become the flames that made you stronger.

Look up and smile, darling.

You got this.

What are you waiting for?

http://www.prettymessedup.org


Turn The Page.

Darling,

I know life has been hard lately and you feel like you’re drowning at every turn, but keep going.

Lift your head, dig deep and find a way, you always do.

Life may have gotten the best of you for a while, but it doesn’t storm forever.

You’re going to come through this stronger, wiser and better than you’ve ever been before, but first, keep fighting and get through it.

I’m not saying it will be fast or easy, only that it will be worth it.

You’re worth it. I’m fact, you’re worth everything, and it’s time that you started to believe that.

Stop beating yourself for the past and begin believing in your future, because your best days, happiest moments and beautiful love haven’t happened yet…and they will.

I know you’ve been fighting for survival as long as you can remember, but this is where your story starts to change.

Don’t give up on your hopes and dreams before ever really started.

Turn the page.

Start a new chapter.

Believe in yourself, because you’ve got this.

Stop letting the troubles that you face make you doubt yourself.

You’re a beautiful strong soul who is capable of anything, so start by finding that person you’ve lost along the way.

They’re waiting for you to remember them.

You deserve happiness, so keep going and stop surviving and start living.

Do it for yourself.

Do it to feel alive.

Do it to be happy again.

Most of all, just start somewhere, anywhere…then never look back or stop until you end up where you’re meant to be.

Be unstoppable.

http://www.prettymessedup.org